Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free! Get my new series on the Truth About the French Revolution, access to the audiobook for my new book 'Peaceful Parenting,' StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and more! See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022

Chapters
0:00:00 Anxiousness and Isolation
0:03:24 Moving and Homelessness
0:08:11 Empathy and Abandonment
0:13:06 Lonely and Isolated: Childhood's Dark Impact
0:16:39 Directionless and Unemployed: Seeking Guidance and Purpose
0:23:21 Immersed in Fantasy and Fiction
0:36:41 First Memory: Nightmare of Being Murdered by Mother
0:42:18 Mother's Angry Outburst: Room Destroyed, Verbal Abuse
0:47:23 The Inevitability of Torture and Inner Torture
0:57:14 Bullying Escalates, No Solution Found
1:08:53 Exploring Feelings towards Cousin's Abuse
1:20:18 The struggle with conflicting desires and actions
1:21:02 Failed Dreams of Music Production
1:26:05 Struggles with Moving Out and Toxic Mother
1:30:46 The Desire to Move Out and Get a Job
1:36:04 The Illusion of Being Productive
1:37:26 Excuses for not pursuing passion
1:41:36 Fear of inconvenience and facing the future
1:45:46 Shielded from necessity and struggle for masculinity
1:48:51 Estranged Relationship with Father
1:52:24 The Importance of Willpower and Discipline
1:55:26 Lack of Father Figure and Choices in Life
1:58:30 Lack of Anger and Its Role in Staying in an Abusive Environment
1:59:15 The Paradox of Mocking and Anger
2:02:53 The Babysitter Incident: Rage and Protection
2:06:37 The Desire for Justice and Revenge
2:09:38 Seeking Pleasure and Avoiding Conflict
2:10:02 Mother's Desire to Maintain Family Structure
2:13:31 Parents' Obligation to Tell the Truth and Maintain Positive Relationships
2:14:12 Emotional Manipulation by Father
2:17:30 Waiting for Apologies: The Roman Chariot
2:24:27 Money won't be a barrier to therapy

Long Summary
In this part of the conversation, I open up about my childhood experiences and the profound impact my mother's anger had on me. I share how her destructive behavior and constant verbal expressions of anger deeply traumatized me and affected my language abilities. Despite acknowledging that her actions were wrong, she never truly apologized for them. It is ironic that she expects cleanliness from others while having a relationship with a hoarder. It baffles me how she demanded more discipline from a child than she had over her own temper. I firmly believe in taking responsibility for our mistakes without necessarily offering apologies.

Moving on, I reflect on my current lack of motivation and ambition. I explain how I initially moved back in with my mother to save money, but instead ended up relying on her support. As the conversation progresses, I discuss my struggles in pursuing a career in music production and my hesitancy to commit to a full-time job. The host challenges me to take control of my own life and suggests considering moving out. I admit that I have been using music production as an excuse for not actively seeking employment, and express disappointment in my own lack of dedication. Deep down, I realize that change is necessary and it is vital that I take action. Moreover, I touch upon my thoughts regarding masculinity and how necessity often drives individuals to succeed.

Dwelling on the detrimental effects of being financially dependent on an abusive woman, I emphasize the importance of cultivating willpower and striving to make logical decisions rather than simply acting on emotions. I candidly share my own struggles with pornography consumption and a lack of discipline in my faith. Drawing a contrast, I discuss how I have chosen to pursue challenging conversations through podcasting rather than opting for easier alternatives. I stress the profound significance of willpower in shaping our actions and ultimately, our destiny. However, I cannot help but feel curious about why the other speaker is taking the path of self-disintegration and why there seems to be a lack of anger in their circumstances. I emphasize the importance of acknowledging and properly processing anger in order to grow and heal.

As the conversation deepens, I reflect on my own feelings of shame and guilt, and how they have influenced my behaviors. I delve into the concept of anger and its manifestation in both males and females. I express frustration in not fully understanding my mother's sympathies with certain ideologies and shed light on my relationship with my father. In conclusion, I strongly encourage the other speaker to consider therapy and offer my financial assistance if necessary. I firmly believe in the importance of having a support system and ensuring that money is not a barrier to obtaining help. I wholeheartedly express my willingness to support and assist the other speaker on their journey of healing and growth.