One of the wildest listener conversations in the 18 year history of Freedomain...

FOR SUPPORTERS, GOING OUT THIS WEEKEND...

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Dear Stefan:

I was in a marriage with a woman that treated me very poorly. But I had a child with her. I listened to your show and i very much appreciate the values that you brough to my life. It was a nightmare staying in the relation but I didn't want to divorce and lose the child. I consider it the greatest sin to leave your child. The end was that I finally got divorced and I didn't lose my son. He stays near me. I see him, i have fun with him, I try to be the best father I can. Even though my wife tried to disconnect him from me by using emotional pressure on him. So I have my son and i thank god for this.

My life got better, my friendships got much much better, my job got better.

After a while i met another girl. she dressed properly, she was not provoking she was only looking at me and not other men. She respected money and didn't ask to spend lot, she was high IQ. She seemed very honest, I asked her about her previous relations, her parents etc. She told me a lot. She told me that she had a bad childhood, her parents made her feel she worth nothing.

So she had bad mood many days, she was depressed but I though she had values and that she could get much better through psycotherapy and some help. I though she could change her way of thinking as i hughly did listening to your messages-content.

i stayed with her 2 and half years but i saw no real improvement. She went to 2 different psychotherapists, we had a lot lot of discussions, but nothing got better. She was trying to control me, she wanted to be with me everywhere I was going, she was checking my location with her phone, every day. She was obsessed that I was cheating her. She was jealous even when i had a coffee and a good time with a male friend. I said to her that I can't be with her anymore this February and i moved out. I left her the house and money to do psychotherapy. I had still strong feelings about her. But I understood it was impossible to live with her and have kids with her.

After leaving, she contacted me and said she had finally realised what she was doing wrong and why she was doing it. She said she needed the shock of splitting up with me in order to understand what was going on with her. That I was right in many things and that finally the psychotherapy changed her thoughs. And that she would try a lot to change. I though 'thank god, thank you' - but i said to her that she needed not just 3-4 months but a lot more to do it. if after at least 6 to 8 months more she had results we could sit down and talk.

But it happened a whole different way. She phoned me one day before two months and said someone left her a threatening message about her and me. After two days she called again and said that two guys came outside her house and threatened her. They told her that they would hurt me and hurt her too. I though we were in danger so i took her and went to stay in another place for 10 days. We went to the police to file report. I hired a detective to help. But there were no results. I told 4 of my friends what was happening and they all said 'maybe its her that doing all this in order to get close to you.' I didn't believe them, I though it was impossible to do such a thing. I said 'what's the point? After few days i will be back in my home, I won't live hidden forever.'.

The days we lived together we got intimate, I slept with her. i used condom as always. But after few days she came to me and said that she is pregnant.

Then I started realising what had happened. She planned all this. The mesages and notes were fake. No one came and threatened her. She was lying. She did something with the condom to get pregnant or I don't know what else. That was her purpose. She may though that I wouldnt understand what had happened and stay with her.

if you think i worth some help please help me. I am in a horrible situation. I can't find any moral solution. There is something really wrong with me but I can't understand what. I was attracted to a dangerous woman, again, even though i did much work with myself and my life was very nice. What can I do? What about that child? I don't feel that is mine but i had part in it in some way. What am i doing wrong? My life is ruined . I can't sleep i can't eat...

Even if you say the worst things about me, I really want to talk to you...