Chapter 18
“Hey kiddo,” murmured Ian, gently shaking his boy awake. “You ready to go on an adventure?”
Ben’s arms automatically wound around his father’s neck as his eyes slowly opened.
Ian touched his forehead to his son’s pale skin.
“A – vent - yure?” murmured Ben.
“Yeah, buddy – were going on a trip!”
Ben frowned. “Where?” he asked with some suspicion in his voice.
He had been fooled before.
“No daycare today. Mummy quit her job, and we are – going on an adventure.”
A kaleidoscope of emotions spiralled across Ben’s face.
“It’s like – camping… We’re gonna visit some friends. In the woods. Campfires, marshmallows – maybe some s’mores. You can shoot a bow and arrow, if you want!”
Ben’s eyes narrowed. “But mom – mom is…” He lifted his blankets and cupped his hands over his belly.
“Yeah, I know,” smiled Ian. “We’re still going…”
“How long?”
“Pack everything you need. Don’t leave anything behind…”
“Don’t like it,” said Ben in a flat voice.
“Why not?”
“Dunno…”
“Well – do what you can, grab what you need.”
“My… horsie?” Ben gestured towards a brown rocking horse in the corner of his room.
Ian sighed. “No… But there are real horses, where we are going. Would you like to ride one?”
“Too big…” sniffled Ben – then burst into tears.
“Oh buddy, okay…” murmured Ian, hugging him tightly.
From downstairs, they could hear Cassie’s tense voice. The words were indistinct.
“What about my friends?” sobbed Ben.
“I hope that they will – join us…” said Ian, before feeling guilt at his falsehood. “But it’s not – likely… New kids, though – new friends, I promise!”
Ben wailed. “The party…”
Ian swallowed. “I don’t think that’s… I’m afraid it got cancelled. Sorry, forgot to tell you…”
Ben sobbed even louder.
Cassie’s voice rose. “Just – just trust me, dad! You’re going to be locked inside, there won’t be another chance!”
With his sobbing son clinging to him, Ian could not get up and demand that she keep her voice down. He ground his teeth in frustration.
He patted Ben’s tiny shoulder. “I’m sorry to wake you this way, buddy. It’s okay, everything’s gonna be – okay…”
“Put mom on!” cried Cassie.
There was a pause.
Ian could not tell if his son’s crying was slowing, or deepening.
A scatter of sirens screamed in the distance.
Ian’s heart was pounding.
Cassie’s voice escalated. “Mom – I know you don’t want to go… I know you’ve got your garden, and your – your bridge club or whatever. But you know that Ian has… Yes, I know that… Appointments, medicines – got it…”
Absorbing his mother’s tension, Ben’s sobs spiralled to a scream.
Hammering exploded on the wall they shared with their neighbour. A dog barked madly.
Feeling a sudden panic, Ian hauled his son up and walked out of the room.
“Cassie!” he cried, striving hard to keep his voice even. “Take it outside – please, I’m begging you!”
Without glancing up the staircase, Cassie yanked open the front door and stepped out onto the front steps. A glaring square of sunlight widened on the hardwood in the hallway, then closed as she shut the door.
“Ben, I really need you to – stop crying. This is no time…” Against his will, Ian’s voice broke.
Ben took a deep breath, then twisted his head in his father’s arms and saw the suitcases in the front hallway.
He burst into tears again.
“Where we GOING?” he screamed.
The sirens circled closer.
Through the stained glass of the tall windows by the door, Ian could see his wife moving in strangely-coloured shards.
“Ben…” murmured Ian, reaching deep into a banned parenting tactic. “Granola bar for breakfast, what do you say?”
Ben’s wailing halted, as if hitting a speed bump. He hiccupped.
“Gra – nol – ee?”
“Yeah, you got it buddy…”
“With – cotch – you – late – chips?”
“Yeah – all the bad stuff, just for you!”
Ian carried Ben into the kitchen. He opened the snack drawer, but it was empty.
“Where the hell..?”
“Heidi!” cried Ben.
It was a family joke – Cassie moved things so often that Ian had nicknamed her “Heidi.”
“Yeah, Heidi’s been hard at work…” said Ian, opening various drawers and cupboards.
“Hell – een!” cried Ben, twisting in his father’s arms.
Ian looked down. In a lower drawer was an orange pail filled with Ben’s Halloween candy.
He sighed. “Special treat, okay?”
Without answering, Ben climbed down his father’s tall body. He lifted out a variety of chocolates, candies and tiny boxes, then spread them on the floor, and began organising them. From above, Ian could see the still-vivid scar that cut through the whirlpool of his son’s hair. The stitches had left red footprints on either side of the wound.
“Be right back,” said Ian, and headed out the front door.
Cassie was gesturing frantically on the front walkway.
“Guys, we were lucky to get an exception… Just come and see it, check it out! If everything turns out – fine again, you can just come back and chalk it up to us being completely insane!”
She put a hand over the receiver – despite many lectures, she still didn’t know how to mute a phone call – turned to Ian and hissed: “You’re so lucky your parents are overseas!”
“Cassie, we’ve got to go!” hissed Ian. “Just – give them the location.”
“I’m not – dropping this phone call Ian! You scared the hell out of me – I believe you!”
Ian shook his head slightly, turning to go back inside. “Okay – keep talking… I’ll load up the car.”
After glancing at his son, who was lining up candy obsessively on the kitchen floor, Ian began wrestling the suitcases and boxes into the minivan. He caught snatches of his wife’s conversation, and knew from her tone that she wasn’t making any headway.
“Who cares about the plants if…”
“You’ve only got enough food for…”
“They’re good people, you won’t feel…”
“We’re not getting you into a cult!”
“I just need you to trust me…”
After loading up the car, Ian turned off the water, unplugged everything and made sure all the lights were off. Checking the back door lock twice, he finally got Ben into his car seat, and led his wife by the arm into the passenger side of the minivan.
“My glasses!” she cried.
“I didn’t see them – check your purse!”
They were there.
“Did you check – everything? I should go in, go back!”
“No! The announcement could come at any moment. We’ve got to get on the road, Cass. We’re not super-far. Odds are everything blows over, we’re back by the weekend…” Taking a deep breath, Ian turned and winked at his son. “Pretty exciting, eh?”
Ben was arranging his candies in vertical columns in his little Halloween bucket.
Ian half-listened to his wife as he pulled out of the driveway and drove north, up the empty tree-lined street.
“Yeah, mom, I’m still here… What do you want me to say, I’ve tried everything! I don’t know about Rachel; I can’t get through… I know what you’re seeing on the news, that’s not… You read their lies about Rachel, why would you believe them… Mom, take a breath, let me get a goddamned word in! Yeah, sorry, sorry, I know… Listen…”
There was a pause. Ian slowed the minivan to a complete stop at a street corner. He saw some bundled-up teenage boys playing basketball, their breath fogging as they lunged. Their mother opened the front door and screamed at them to get the hell inside!
“Mom?” cried Cassie, no hope in her voice. “Holy – crap…” She said, turning to Ian. “They – hung up on me!”
“Check my phone.”
She looked at it. “You have bars…”
Iain sighed. “That doesn’t mean – much. Try calling someone…”
“I’ll call Rachel…” She held down a thumb on the screen. ‘Call Rachel.’”
“I can’t find any contact by that name.” replied the phone.
Ian smiled. “I have her down as ‘Flight-Risk.’”
“What? Why?”
Ian couldn’t help but smile. “Because she’s flighty – and risky.”
“Ian!” scolded Cassie. “‘Call Flight-Risk’”
There was a beep. “Calling ‘Flight-Risk’”
Silence. Not even a recording that the call could not be completed.
“Phones are done…” whispered Ian.
“Why no phones?” cried Ben.
“Oh!” replied his mother airily, “the computers that – well, the towers are…”
Ian interrupted her. “They ran out of power, bud. The people we’re calling.”
“Nana and – W-achel?”
“Yeah… Great job not eating all your candy!”
“Gotta – be right…” said Ben, staring into his bucket. “Color, size…”
“Sounds like a party!” grinned Ian, glancing over his shoulder.
Cassie screamed at the top of her lungs.
Ian stared wildly around, then saw the crimson blur of a low-slung red sportscar flashing in front of their hood.
“More!” screamed Cassie, pointing.
Ian hit the gas hard. Their car staggered forwards through a thankfully-empty intersection. A blue blur raced by behind them.
Ian hit the brakes. They stopped hard.
Ben stared in mute shock for a moment.
Cassie’s breath was coming so hard that it rasped in her chest.
“Get back there!” muttered Ian through clenched teeth.
Cassie nodded dumbly. She buckled her seatbelt and began climbing over the centre console.
“No – use the door!” snapped Ian.
Ben started screaming. Cassie wrenched her door open and half fell out as the car warnings started chiming. Holding her heavy belly, she scrambled to the back door and opened it.
Ian turned the car off. He reached over to close her door.
They heard the sound of another car engine, and flinched.
Ian had a vision of a racing car riding the sidewalk, tearing off the open passenger door.
His heart was pounding so hard that his vision shook slightly.
Cassie was crawling over Ben, trying to soothe him with her voice. Somehow the orange bucket spun into the air, scattering chocolates and candies all over Cassie, the back seat, and out onto the road.
Ignoring the shrieking, Ian checked three times both ways, then got out and slowly went around the front of the car and closed the passenger door. Dropping to his knees, he scrabbled on the concrete, grabbing the scattered candy, numbing his fingertips with gritty abrasions. Leaning into the car, he put the candies in the Halloween bucket, then closed the rear door.
Returning, Ian closed his own door, put his hands on the black wheel, and tried to slow his breathing.
Ben was inconsolable. Cassie frantically stroked his sweaty blonde hair above his purple screaming face.
“We are okay, we are okay…” muttered Ian.
His temper finally arrived. He turned around. “BEN!” he thundered.
The screaming escalated.
“BEN!” Again, louder.
Cassie looked at him in shock. “He’s already upset!” she cried.
“BEN!” This broke through. Ben’s screaming faltered.
“Ben, buddy – I’m so sorry. What a day, what a way to wake up, what a frightening drive. Could you do me a favour and get your candy, I’m dying for some sugar!”
Ben stared at him, his eyes rimmed with red.
“You want…”
“I know, I’m not supposed to have much, but that car – those cars – really scared the pants off me! I am almost without pants. Sometimes I think sugar makes me feel better, what about you?”
“Better…”
“What do you think I should have? What’s my – favourite?”
“Peanut butter…” said Ben without hesitation.
“Yeah, that’s right… Do you think that..? No…”
Ben’s eyes sharpened. “What? What?”
Ian shook his head. “Nah, it’s dumb…”
“What?” Ben’s voice was excited.
“Well – I don’t know how mommy feels, but I… I think we should have just one day where we can eat all the sugar we want.” Ian shrugged. “Like I said, it’s dumb…”
“All?” echoed Ben, his voice thick with wonder.
“Well, it’s – quite a day. When I had my tonsils out – I was in the hospital – my parents let me eat all the ice cream I wanted.”
“Did you…” Ben pointed at his red mouth and made a gagging sound.
Ian winked. “Yeah, but with a big smile on my face!”
“All…” repeated Ben, staring at the scattered candy on the seat and the floor.
Cassie pulled some wrapped toffee out of her hair.
“Do you want mommy to sit back there with you, while you eat?”
Ben’s face darkened furtively. He wiped his eyes. “No…”
Cassie laughed suddenly. “So I don’t – check on you?”
“Dad said – all!” cried Ben.
“Mommy didn’t agree yet,” said Ian, turning to her.
“Yeah, what the – heck…” Cassie smiled at her son. “Go for it!”
“YAY!” sang Ben, gathering his treats together.
As she climbed back into the front passenger seat, Cassie murmured: “I’m so glad we agreed to stop bribing him…”
Ian smiled and shook his head. “We – okay to drive again?”
Rustling and chewing from the back seat.
Cassie nodded, dialling her phone once more.
Ian pulled out onto the road.
“Nothing…” murmured Cassie. “I’ll try yours again… Whoah!”
She half-cried out as Ian hit the brakes.
“Car in the road…” he said.
There was a black SUV parked at 45 degrees in the middle of the road. The doors were closed. As they pulled closer, Ian could see that the sunroof was still open. They could hear the faint clicking of the hazard lights – which were barely visible in the bright cold sunlight.
“Let’s not – wonder where they went…” whispered Ian, glancing back at the chocolate minstrel show of his son’s face.
A movement in the rear-view mirror caught his eye.
“Crap! Cops…” he murmured, his voice thick with tension.
“Well – we’re not doing…” started Cassie, then stopped suddenly.
The police car was approaching from a few blocks away, back in the odd ripples of winter light.
“Ben – lie down!” commanded Ian. “Hide and go seek! Now!”
Ben’s eyes widened, then he immediately dropped to the floor and curled into a little ball.
Very slowly, Ian pulled in front of the black SUV.
Both parents lay as low as possible in their seats. The emergency brake dug into Ian’s ribs.
“Real quiet…” he murmured.
Hardly breathing, they heard the crunchy purr of the police car sliding past.
It slowed briefly.
Then drove on.
“Great job Ben…” whispered Ian.
“I’m the BEST!” he whispered back.
They all smiled.
The family lay still for another minute, then Ian slowly lifted his head.
The street was empty. The houses all silent.
Ian started the car, driving on slowly.
“Cass, do you have any data? Can you get any news?”
She checked her phone. “Ungodly slow… Sorry… Nothing new…”
“Check my libertarian sites…”
She grabbed his phone. In the silent whir of the car’s passage, they could hear Ben’s chocolate-stained humming from the back seat.
“Is it – in a folder?”
Ian’s fingers itched to take the phone, but he kept his hands on the wheel, slowly accelerating.
“In the bookmarks, there’s a folder…”
“Oh yeah, I see… Which one?”
“The first one…”
“Okay…” Cassie scowled. “Man, it’s slow… Like when everyone started working from home, remember? Here… Got it. Want me to read the headlines?”
“Very quietly…” murmured Ian.
“‘Welcome to the New Normal…’ ‘Buckle Up, There’s No Turning Back…’ ‘The Fed Has Finally Killed the Dollar…’ ‘Bartering 101: How to Get What You Need From What You Only Want…’ Uhhh… ‘How to Get Out of Town Without Gas…’” She glanced over. “Want me to keep going?”
“No…” whispered Ian.
There was a pause. Ian signalled and turned right.
“Ian…” Cassie’s voice was agonised.
He sighed. “I know…”
“What?”
“Your parents…”
“We could have gone there!”
Ian nodded. “And what? Dragged them off?”
“He…” She swallowed. “It just drives me – crazy! My whole life, my mother complains that my father is just – such a pushover… Now, at the end, when it really matters…”
“Boomers…”
“Stop it!”
“Why?” Ian demanded suddenly. “You know the wages of sin…”
Cassie’s eyes widened – her hand covered her mouth. “Ian!”
“What? You think I can – that we can break the laws of physics? It’s just math, nothing personal… Money in, money out… They wanted more out than they were willing to pay in!” Ian shrugged, checking his blind spot as he changed lanes. He lowered his voice. “They were willing to – I know, super nice people, nothing personal – but they were willing to – have Ben born into a million dollars in debt – owned and operated by foreign banksters… Rather than just – accept their mistakes. So, they killed the dollar through greed, and now – here we are. On the run.”
“They are not – political.”
“Sure they are. Everyone is. Until it’s convenient to claim that they’re not… I went over the numbers with them – remember, before Ben was born, when I got all primal and fatherly..? They weren’t willing to let anyone touch their pensions. Their benefits. Remember? ‘We paid into this!’ As if basic math cares about that!”
“Mistakes should not be a – death sentence…” cried Cassie.
Ian shot her a warning look, but Ben remained consumed by his treats.
“My dad lost half a finger when he was a driller in Dubai. He didn’t even make a mistake. Just – bad luck. It was good, got him into a desk job… Net plus.” He turned to his wife. “Did he ‘deserve’ to lose a finger?”
“It’s… not the same,” said Cassie, without conviction.
Ian’s eyes returned to the road. “It doesn't matter. It’s a male thing… We don’t get the excuse called ‘intention.’” He pitched his voice higher. “‘I didn’t mean to…’ Can you imagine how long I would last at my job if my code didn’t compile? Would my boss care if I said: ‘Well I meant for my code to compile!’” Ian laughed bitterly. “SpoileRachel: he wouldn’t.”
“It’s the same at the hospital! Don’t make this some – male – thing!”
Ian paused. “That’s true… But you’re still dealing with people, not – things. Objects. Facts. Math…”
“You don’t think what keeps people alive is – factual?”
“Well, that’s more of the… doctor’s purview, no?”
Cassie sighed explosively. “Let’s not get into – that quagmire!”
“Your parents…” Ian reminded her gently.
A sudden tear escaped her eye. “I can’t just – abandon them…”
“See – this is why you have me.”
“What?” Cassie’s voice was sharp.
“You know the math. There are only a certain amount of calories to be had. That’s what everything is – calibrated for. How much could your parents produce?” Ian raised his hand. “It doesn’t matter. They’re not coming. You tried – forever. I heard you. I wish it were different. You can’t save people who won’t – listen. And…”
“What?”
“Well… There is a reason they won’t come…”
“You?”
Ian barked out a surprised laugh. “Me? Go-sh no. Their own conscience. They have to believe that – everything will go back to normal, so they don’t realize that they – screwed up the whole world.”
“Oh, come on! That’s a little – Old Testament…”
“That’s the male Testament…” said Ian. “My favorite! Look – I love the fact that you care, Cass, that you’re so – sentimental – and I mean that in a good way. But it’s not – objective.”
Cassie snorted. “You don’t want me looking at you ‘objectively’ right now – trust me!”
Ian shook his head, as if to clear his ears. “Okay, let’s do it. He’s asleep.”
“Do – what?”
Ian pulled into a shaded leafy side-street and turned off the car.
“Ooh,” said Cassie nervously. “Mr. Serious!”
“No really – let’s do it. Why do you want to save your parents so much?”
“That’s a weird question!” cried Cassie, then glanced backwards and lowered her voice. “Why are you even asking?”
“Because they’re helpless and dependent and – need you, right?”
“Well – yeah!”
Ian’s eyes narrowed savagely. “Then why did it take me over a year to get you to pull Ben out of daycare?”
There was a shocked silence in the car. From outside the safety glass, the caw of a raven echoed through the bare treetops.
Cassie opened her mouth, then shut it.
Ian’s voice was low, dangerous. “Ben’s way more helpless and dependant than your parents, but he doesn’t have the power to make you feel as guilty, so his needs are just – poof, gone… It’s not about caring, or – even love, really. It’s just a hierarchy… Who has the power to push your buttons…”
Ian glanced in the rear-view mirror and stopped speaking.
“Ouch…” he murmured.
Cassie’s face was white. “What?”
He gestured. “Look…”
From behind them, from the heart of the city they had fled, a massive pillar of thick smoke rose high into the bright blue sky.
Chapter 19
- Rach?
- Where are you? I’ve tried calling
- Nothing is getting through
- I’m worried
- I hated how we left things
- I’m sorry
- Hell of time to go walkabout
- it says your getting these messages
- if someone else has this phone, and can see this, please call Arlo at 555-234-4527
- well that was stupid
- I’m just pacing around, can’t eat
- I can’t get through to the zoo
- I’m terrified for my kids
- plus there’s this cold snap
- they’re telling people to stay home
- suddenly I wish I hadn’t worked out, my muscles are hungry :)
- kind of puts things in perspective
- I’ve been thinking about what you said. Well placed shots. And my looks aren’t doing me much good today. Did they make me lazy? I think so… I used to lecture my friends to just be funnier, more charming. What a load of crap! When I was twelve, at summer camp, the girls used to gather to watch me dive. They called out the wildest things. I couldn’t get close to them, and the other boys hated me. Totally isolated. I was only supposed to be there for two weeks, but I ended up stuck there all summer. A lot of temporary friends. But safer than home.
- I was in the play ‘Our Town’ in high school, and this girl got really drunk at the cast party. She told me that all the girls thought I was gorgeous, but that I flirted with everyone. She was right.
- I think I’ve only flirted with life.
- I’m crying rn
- they’re not my kids
- we have too much history to not have a future
- I love you
- when there’s a crisis, the stupid stuff becomes really really clear
- I have a bad feeling about all this
- but I have a *good* feeling about us
- we really told the truth to each other
- it was cruel, but necessary I think
- we can rebuild, on a better foundation
- where are you?
- I tried finding you on apps, no luck
- I can’t imagine your location is off
- are you out of power?
- I’ve tried texting everyone
- trying not to panic
- failing
- wherever you are, I will make it to you
- even if it ends, it shouldn’t be this way
- we owe each other another conversation, make or break
- I hate that I’m losing my hair, I don’t know why I lied
- You said I was only looks. there’s always a better-looking guy, that’s why I freaked out
- we panicked about cancel culture, now the whole city is cancelled lol
- nobody stays pretty forever, there has to be something else
- I think we hit rock bottom, but we can build towards marriage, if you want
- and kids
- real kids I mean lol
- I want to travel because I enjoy new people admiring me tbh
- I think I might have the tiniest problem with vanity
- society doesn’t help, that’s all it cares about
- we might’ve gotten together for the wrong reasons – but there can be better reasons, if we’re honest
- I don’t even think I was lying in my mind. It all felt true
- maybe getting real is always ugly, at first
- I don’t believe you’re ignoring me
- being ghosted makes you feel like a ghost lol
- I should’ve told you to call me before reading all this stuff
- it just came through on the news
- lockdowns
- I’m stuck here
- I’m sorry
- I miss you
- I love you
Chapter 20
The rattling was faint, and came from the window.
Ethel rolled slowly out of bed, felt with her toes for her slippers, and walked to the glass.
She saw a dark figure on the cramped front lawn, a moon-pale face turned upwards.
“Rachel!” she cried out, startling her husband awake.
Ethel wrestled with the window lock, to no avail.
“Come round the front!” she cried, gesturing, then pulled on her dressing gown and went downstairs as fast as she could. Bert was behind her.
Opening the front door, they saw Rachel standing there, staring at them.
Her father said: “Rachel, my gosh, get in here!”
She stood motionless for a moment, then he grabbed her elbow and half-pulled her into the house.
Rachel shook her head slightly. “Sorry, I’m totally beat… Is everything – okay here?”
“How did you get here?” demanded her mother.
Bert raised his hand. “Everything’s fine.”
Rachel leaned forward slightly. “I couldn’t get through – on the phone.”
“They’re all dead,” said Ethel.
“How did you get through – the lockdown?” asked Bert.
“Ohhh – let me come in and sit…”
“Sorry, sorry…” said Ethel, leading her to the brown couch in the living room. “What do you want? What do you need?”
“Just some – water. I usually keep some in the car, but I was in – Aunt Crystal’s car…”
“Crystal?” exclaimed her mother. “Where is she? Is she all right?”
“Fine, fine… I was at her condo, I couldn’t get through, I wanted to come and – check on you guys.”
“I really wish you hadn’t,” said her father. “I don’t think it’s very safe out there, from what I’ve seen.”
“I had to do – something!” snapped Rachel, rubbing her grey-shaded eyes.
“We know, we know,” murmured her mother, shooting her husband a look. “I’ll go get that water. Ice?”
Rachel shook her head in annoyance. “But a blanket, please. I don’t think I’ll ever feel warm again…”
Her father sat beside her. “What happened?”
“Oh my God,” exhaled Rachel mightily. “It’s completely – insane…” She glanced at the kitchen and lowered her voice. “So I got in the car – it had a full tank, all good… I get out in the street, and there are these – swarms of – people… I was attacked, the window was smashed – and I had to – hit the gas… I totally panicked… I was driving up the sidewalk… There were all these gunshots – my shoulders were up around my ears, I kept expecting every bullet to… And there were no cops! The traffic lights went dark just north of Midtown, I guess the power was out. A lot of people had boarded up their windows. I wasn’t the only person trying to get out of town… Everyone was terrified to stop – or even slow down, so we were just – driving like mad…”
“Why didn’t you go back?” asked Bert in wonder.
“God, it seemed worse to…” Rachel shuddered. “I couldn’t…”
“But – Crystal?”
Rachel waved her hand. “Oh, she’s fine, up in her perch…”
Her mother came back with a glass of water and a knitted woollen blanket.
Rachel touched it in wonder. “My – blankie!”
Ethel smiled. “I just grabbed the first one - yes, your baby blanket…”
A tear rolled down Rachel’s cheek. She pulled the worn blanket around her shoulders, wriggling forward on the couch. “Thanks, mom…”
Bert laughed suddenly, clapping her knee. “You’re like a salmon, swimming back upstream… Your mother and I are fine. That was one heck of a dangerous journey, young lady!”
Rachel nodded blankly, shivering in the blanket’s ancient embrace.
There was silence for a moment.
“You need some sleep,” said Ethel decisively.
“You’re not wrong about that!” said Rachel. “I don’t know though, I’m pretty wired…”
“Where’s your – stuff?” asked her father suddenly. “You know, purse, phone, that…”
“I had to – I had to leave it in the car.”
“Oh my gosh!” whispered her mother, her hand on her mouth.
“Where is the car, Rachel?”
“I had to…” Rachel laughed in a sudden, broken manner. “I – left it. I was chased out… I had to…”
Another moment of silence.
Rachel shrugged. “So I ended up getting stuck, and that was when the window was smashed. I had nothing, I thought I was – you know… But some men chased – whoever – away - and said they were the good guys, and it was total suicide for me to stay in my car… And you can tell, you know, sometimes, from the faces… And they were right. Someone smashed my window, I just – jumped out… And I don’t think I ever hated being pretty before, but it felt like – total danger… I smeared what was left of my lipstick, mussed my hair… But they were good guys, they didn’t care…” Rachel laughed. “There was a whole – tribe of us, gathered together… Strength in numbers. People who just – had to get out. We moved together like this – what was the word, from Rome, the box of soldiers…”
“Phalanx,” said her father.
“Yeah, phalanx. And some people had – weapons, you wouldn’t believe it.” She laughed again giddily. “One guy had a toilet brush. And we moved pretty quickly, and the men rotated around the edges, and scared off the – thugs. Although there were some – there was some rough stuff out there for sure. Gunshots all around…” She wiped a sudden tear. “I never – I’ve never felt that helpless before – except maybe the last time I was in this blanket… Everything that used to give me strength was now dangerous… At least I had sneakers on. I offered to go to the edges, to help protect the group, but – the men just laughed. These guys – I wouldn’t have given them a second glance, half of them looked like accountants, but they were totally amped up…” She shook her head in wonder. “Full of joy, I don’t get it… Purpose. They kept making these whooping sounds, daring the – criminals or whatever… It was a moving pitched – battle. They shielded us, the women – and we shielded the kids. You make really quick friends in an emergency – I was just – striding through the fire with a baby on one hip, and a toddler on the other… Like a warrior-queen…” Rachel laughed. “I think I hate civilization now. And – and people kind of thinned out, as they got to their destinations, or wherever… And some got taken down by - the outsiders. But not many, those guys were great – they had some kind of instinct, I don’t know… I couldn’t do it. I gave the kids back to their mom, but they clung to me…” Rachel’s eyes filled once more. “What have I been doing with my life?”
Her mother put her palm on the back of Rachel’s hand. “You don’t have to say anything, honey…”
Bert nodded. “Maybe get some sleep – we are all locked down, lots of time to talk…”
“I’m kind of relieved,” said Rachel abruptly, waving her free hand. “I’m not proud, but – my article – that seems a million years ago – it was going to get me into a lot of trouble, but that’s all – that’s all nothing, now…” Her eyes widened slightly. “Talk about dodging a bullet…”
Bert and Ethel exchanged a glance.
“What about – Arlo?” asked Ethel.
Rachel’s eyes widened again. “Oh my God… It’s all just – one night…” She took a deep breath. “We had a bad fight, about my article…” She laughed sadly. “I went to Cassie’s, then to – Aunt Crystal’s.”
“Quite the gypsy!” said her father with forced heartiness.
“Yeah… I – I kind of just – didn’t have time... I wanted to come here,” she said, her voice wobbling.
Her mother stood up decisively. “Okay, that’s enough story-time! Time to get some sleep.”
Wrapped in her old blanket, Rachel allowed herself to be led up to her childhood bedroom, and her mother had to hum her to sleep after a while.
