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Stefan,
I want to be a good husband and father to my coming daughter, but I know that I am at risk of becoming an abusive tyrant, if I am not already.
I love my wife of two years, but I do not love women, I might hate them. I think that women are the cause of most of our societies issues and that female influence has corrupted the West in immeasurable ways. I value the masculine ideal, I place personal emphasis on strength, bravery, resourcefulness, and work ethic. I see these as masculine traits. I am worried that the highest and final ideal purpose of women is effectively to raise sons, so having a daughter is a “wasted turn.” I know that objectively this is awful, but I have become so jaded, I am close to believing this.
We decided to find our child’s gender through an early blood screening. Despite some casual comments about how I was hoping for a boy ...
My wife is extremely feminine, and objectively a wonderful wife and person. She is a nurse, and is extremely intelligent and thoughtful. She is adored by nearly everyone who meets her. She does so much for me and is beyond joyous to be pregnant with our child. Despite all this, when I get mad for whatever reason (maybe because she does or says something I disagree with) I can be extremely cruel to her for seemingly no reason other than to exert power and control over her and her emotional state. When she gets sad I get mad, and can spiral into saying even more hurtful things. I hate these moments and always feel so guilty after the fact, promising that it won’t happen again. She told me that I am ruining this moment that she has waited for her whole life for because of how I am acting regarding having a daughter.
To the outsider I am a successful and well adjusted person. I have a successful career, am well liked and respected by my community. I am driven to excel at everything in my life. However, I am worried that I am failing at the most important things: my relationship with my wife and my coming daughter. I do not want to be the way that I am, and I am writing to you out of desperation and frustration with myself and my behavior. I want my love for my wife and child to not come from a place of self-gain or desire, but from a genuine affection for who they are as people. At the same time, I do not want to change my perspective on women “when I have a daughter” because I think that is cope. Right now, I do genuinely believe that every father would exclusively want a son (especially as the eldest) if they understood the realities of gender and the increasing importance of strong men in the world.
Thank you,
[name]
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Friday Morning Twitter Space 11 July 2025
In this episode, I examine the relationship between personal trauma, substance use, and moral dilemmas. We discuss how many individuals turn to self-medication to cope with emotional pain, highlighting the psychological factors at play. I challenge the notion that drug use leads to genuine insights, arguing it often masks deeper issues.
We also explore the importance of responsibility in parenting and moral education, emphasizing the need for empathy and accountability. Through personal anecdotes, I urge listeners to reflect on their life choices and strive for deeper connections. This conversation invites engagement with the complexities of drug use and morality, advocating for an understanding of human growth and redemption.
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Twitter Space 24 July 2025
In this episode, I critically examine the philosophical ideas of Alan Watts, questioning the relevance of his insights on anxiety, childhood, and personal responsibility. I challenge Watts’ assertion that anxiety is unproductive, arguing instead that it can serve as a vital catalyst for action and survival, much as it did for our ancestors. The discussion encourages listeners to reflect on the importance of embracing anxiety rather than suppressing it, particularly in the context of personal growth and financial stability. By exploring the societal implications of anxiety, especially among women, I invite the audience to consider how their values and choices impact their lives. Ultimately, this episode offers a nuanced perspective on the relationship between anxiety and proactive living, emphasizing that channeling our worries can lead to meaningful engagement and reduce regret.
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GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE...
Regular Friday night philosophy chat fest -- come bring your questions!
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