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Locals Questions Answered 22 Dec 2023!
Importance of communication, defining expectations in relationships, value and equal rewards, promoting imagination within bounds of reality, experience as stay-at-home father, balancing fun and discipline.
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Brief Summary
In this part of the conversation, I discuss the importance of communication and performing reality checks in relationships. I emphasize the need to define terms and expectations from the start. I also explore the concept of value in relationships and the role it plays in mutual exchange. We touch on the question of equal rewards based on effort and discuss the limitations in verifying effort and knowledge. I also address the concept of hide-and-go-seek and its implications in promoting imagination within the bounds of reality. Lastly, I share my experience as a stay-at-home father and how I balance fun and discipline. I express gratitude for the audience's support and sign off, hoping to talk again soon.
Transcript: https://freedomain.com/why-grandparents-spoil-kids/
Chapters
0:00:00 Introduction and Invitation to Join the Community
0:03:42 Defining Relationships and the Importance of Definitions
0:08:34 The Definition of Good Parenting and Abuse
0:10:09 The Double Standard in Judging Effort and Performance
0:16:48 Hierarchies and Value in Relationships
0:17:27 Understanding the Value Exchange in Work Relationships
0:19:31 Providing More Value for Better Relationships
0:25:23 The consequences of making a game too real
0:27:05 The danger of blurring the line between fantasy and reality
0:29:26 Gaslighting and undermining parental authority
0:34:18 Balancing Philosophy and Fatherhood
0:35:54 The Serious Side Behind the Fun and Goofiness
Long Summary
In this part of the conversation, the main speaker, Defend Molyneux from freedomain.com, welcomes the audience and encourages them to join the community at freedomain.locals.com. They also mention an upcoming live stream. A listener asks a question about performing a reality check when dealing with family issues. The main speaker explains that strong feelings don't necessarily mean one is right or valid in a situation. To perform a reality check, they suggest two approaches. First, they recommend reversing the situation and considering if the other person would be upset if roles were switched. This helps gain perspective. Second, they advise considering if one's own silence has contributed to the problem, as not addressing an issue can make it one's responsibility. The main speaker stresses the importance of communication and not assuming that others are aware of one's feelings. They discuss how relationships often involve reacting to someone else's definition and provide examples from society to illustrate this point.
The conversation then shifts to the importance of definitions in relationships. The main speaker uses the example of differing definitions of love between a man and a woman and how these definitions can impact the success or failure of a relationship. They emphasize the need to define terms at the beginning of a relationship to ensure alignment of expectations. The main speaker also touches on the concept of parenting and how different definitions can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts between parents and children. They argue that it is unfair to hold unrealistic standards and expectations as everyone does the best they can with the knowledge they have. Instead, they suggest considering the presence of cruelty or harm rather than attributing deficiencies solely to a lack of knowledge. The main speaker reflects on their own limitations in certain areas, using a medical test as an example, and concludes that judgments and expectations should be based on an individual's capabilities and knowledge, rather than arbitrary standards.
The conversation then explores the question of whether it is fair for everyone to receive the same reward regardless of effort or performance. The main speaker argues that it is not fair, using the example of a race where everyone may be running as fast as they can but not necessarily deserving the gold medal. They state that effort alone cannot be the sole criterion for success or equal reward. Furthermore, the main speaker asserts that it is impossible to verify the extent of someone's effort or the knowledge they possessed. They mention that parents claiming they did their best is an unverifiable statement. The main speaker also discusses the concept of value in relationships, highlighting that hierarchies should be seen as voluntary relationships where individuals provide value in different ways, rather than being superior or inferior.
In the subsequent part of the conversation, the main speaker discusses the importance of value in relationships and how it determines the mutual exchange of positive things. They suggest that if someone is not providing value, it may be necessary to question the relationship. The main speaker also discusses the concept of providing more value in order to receive more in return, using the example of a raise at work. They acknowledge that some people may struggle to recognize the value they provide and suggest either finding a way to provide more value or accepting that they cannot see it. The main speaker emphasizes the need to think about relationships without hierarchy. They then explain how they personally come up with clear definitions, stating that they have worked hard to develop this skill. The conversation briefly touches on movie analyses and expresses openness to analyzing popular children's movies. The main speaker expresses their confusion and lack of understanding towards the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon, highlighting the practical value of the concept of hide-and-go-seek.
The main speaker further explores the concept of hide-and-go-seek and its significance. They highlight that hiding can be necessary in certain situations, such as avoiding a predator or playing games. However, they question the metaphysics of what happens during these games. The main speaker compares the Elf on the Shelf concept to losing money in a game of Monopoly, stating that it can be cruel to the child's ability to process reality. They argue that imagination within the bounds of reality is creativity, while imagination outside the bounds of reality is mental illness. The main speaker emphasizes the importance of telling the truth to children and not promoting lying. They also discuss how grandparents treating their grandkids well can create alliances between the grandparents and grandchildren against the parents, ultimately asserting dominance over the parents. The main speaker refers to a funny meme where grandparents secretly give money to the grandkids during times of conflict.
In response to a question about the main speaker's decision to become a stay-at-home father, they explain that it was due to their choice to pursue philosophy full-time. They discuss the challenges of balancing being a fun dad while also maintaining discipline. The main speaker mentions that people sometimes underestimate their resolve and strength based on their silly and goofy side, but they assert that they have the ability to switch to a more serious and assertive mode when necessary.
To conclude the conversation, the main speaker reminds everyone of their lighthearted and stern sides. They share a personal anecdote about a legal issue, emphasizing their resolve, and illustrate their uncompromising nature when necessary. They express gratitude for the audience's support and sign off, hoping to talk again soon.
Tags
communication, reality checks, relationships, define terms, expectations, value, mutual exchange, equal rewards, effort, knowledge, hide-and-go-seek, imagination, reality, stay-at-home father, fun, discipline, gratitude, sign off, audience support
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Stefan Molyneux looks at the philosophical and moral sides of artificial intelligence, particularly where it crosses with copyright laws and its effects on society. He points out how AI draws from copyrighted materials without getting permission, which brings up issues around intellectual property. Molyneux draws a comparison between standard ways of learning and what AI can do as a customized tutor, noting its ability to deliver information suited to individual needs. He cautions that AI could lower the worth of conventional media and put authors' incomes at risk by turning their creations into commodities. Molyneux calls for an approach where AI firms get approval from the original creators, stressing the importance of acknowledging authors' work as AI becomes more common.
0:00:00 Introduction to AI's Impact
0:00:15 The Ethics of Copyright
0:04:19 Transformative Uses of AI
0:07:55 The Role of AI in Learning
0:16:22 The Nature of AI's Existence
0:20:37 AI and Intellectual Property Issues
0:23:15...
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Humanity evolves through accumulated wisdom from endless trial and error. This wisdom has been transmitted through fiction – stories, superstitions, commandments, and ancestor-worship – which has created the considerable problem that these fictions can be easily intercepted and replaced by other lies.
Children absorb their moral and cultural wisdom from parents, priests and teachers. When governments take over education, foreign thoughts easily transmit themselves to the young, displacing parents and priests. In a fast-changing world, parents represent the past, and are easily displaced by propaganda.
Government education thus facilitates cultural takeovers – a soft invasion that displaces existing thought-patterns and destroys all prior values.
The strength of intergenerational cultural transmission of values only exists when authority is exercised by elders. When that authority transfers to the State, children adapt to the new leaders, scorning their parents in the process.
This is an evolutionary adaptation that resulted from the constant brutal takeovers of human history and prehistory. If your tribe was conquered, you had to adapt to the values of your new masters or risk genetic death through murder or ostracism.
When a new overlord – who represents the future – inflicts his values on the young, they scorn their parents and cleave to the new ruler in order to survive.
Government instruction of the young is thus the portal through which alien ideas conquer the young as if a violent overthrow had occurred – which in fact it did, since government education is funded through force.
This is the weakness of the cultural transmission of values – by using ‘authority’ instead of philosophy – reason and evidence – new authorities can easily displace the accumulated wisdom of thousands of years.
It is a common observation that a culture’s success breeds its own destruction. Cultures that follow more objective reason tend to prosper – this prosperity breeds resentment and greed in the hearts of less-successful people and cultures, who then swarm into the wealthier lands and use the State to drain them dry of their resources.
Everything that has been painfully learned and transmitted over a thousand generations can be scattered to the winds in a mere generation or two.
This happens less in the realms of reason and mathematics, for obvious reasons. Two and two make four throughout all time, in all places, regardless of propaganda. The Pythagorean theorem is as true now as it was thousands of years ago – Aristotle’s three laws of logic remain absolute and incontrovertible to all but the most deranged.
Science – absent the corrupting influence of government funding – remains true and absolute across time and space. Biological absolutes can only be opposed by those about to commit suicide.
Authority based on lies hates the clarity and objectivity – and curiosity – of rational philosophy. Bowing to the authority of reason means abandoning the lies that prop up the powerful – but refusing to bow to reason means you end up bowing to foreigners who take over your society via the centralized indoctrination of the young.
Why is this inevitable?
Because it is an addiction.
Political power is the most powerful – and dangerous – addiction. The drug addict only destroys his own life, and harms those close to him. The addiction to political power harms hundreds of millions of people – but the political junkies don’t care, they have dehumanized their fellow citizens – in order to rule over others, you must first view them as mere useful livestock instead of sovereign minds like your own.
Just as drug addicts would rather destroy lives than stop using – political addicts would rather be slaves in their own sick system than free in a rational, moral world.
If we cannot find a way to transmit morals without lies or assumptions, we will never break the self-destructive cycle of civilization – success breeds unequal wealth, which breeds resentment and greed, which breeds stealing from the successful through political power, which collapses the society.
If we cannot anchor morals in reason and evidence, we can never build a successful civilization that does not engineer its own demise. Everything good that mankind builds will forever be dismantled using the same tools that were used to build it.
Since the fall of religion in the West – inevitable given the wild successes of the free market and modern science and medicine, which came out of skepticism, reason and the Enlightenment – we have applied critical reasoning to every sphere except morality. We have spun spaceships out of the solar system, plumbed the depths of the atom and cast our minds back to the very nanoseconds after our universe came into being – but we cannot yet clearly state why murder, rape, theft and assault are wrong.
We can say that they are “wrong” because they feel bad, or are harmful to social cohesion, or because God commands it, or because they are against the law – but that does not help us understand what morality is, or how it is proven.
Saying that rape is wrong because it feels bad to the victim does not answer why rape is wrong. Clearly it feels ‘good’ to the rapist – otherwise rape would not exist.
Saying it harms social happiness or cohesion is a category error, since ‘society’ does not exist empirically. Individuals act in their own perceived self-interest. From an evolutionary perspective, ‘rape’ is common. The amoral genes of an ugly man that no woman wants are rewarded for rape, since it gives them at least some chance to survive.
Saying that rape is wrong because God commands it does not answer the question – it is an appeal to an unreasoning authority that cannot be directly questioned.
Saying that rape is wrong because it is illegal is begging the question. Many evil things throughout history have been legal, and many good things – such as free speech and absolute private property – are currently criminalized.
Saying that rape is wrong because it makes the victim unhappy is not a moral argument – it is a strange argument from hedonism, in that the ‘morality’ of an action is measured only by pleasure and pain. We often inflict significant misery on people in order to heal or educate them. We punish children – often harshly. The ‘hedonism’ argument is also used to justify sacrificing free speech on the altar of self-proclaimed ‘offense’ and ‘upset.’
So…
Why is rape wrong?
Why are murder, theft and assault immoral?
A central tenet of modernity has been the confirmation of personal experience through universal laws that end up utterly blowing our minds.
The theory of gravity affirms our immediate experience of weight and balance and throwing and catching – and also that we are standing on a giant spinning ball rocketing around a star that is itself rocketing around a galaxy. We feel still; we are in fact in blinding motion. The sun and the moon appear to be the same size – they are in fact vastly different. It looks like the stars go round the Earth, but they don’t…
Science confirms our most immediate experiences, while blowing our minds about the universe as a whole.
If you expand your local observations – “everything I drop falls” – to the universal – “everything in the universe falls” – you radically rewrite your entire world-view.
If you take the speed of light as constant, your perception of time and space change forever – and you also unlock the power of the atom, for better and for worse.
If you take the principles of selective breeding and animal husbandry and apply them to life for the last four billion years, you get the theory of evolution, and your world-view is forever changed – for the better, but the transition is dizzying.
If we take our most common moral instincts – that rape, theft, assault and murder are wrong – and truly universalize them, our world-view also changes forever – better, more accurate, more moral – but also deeply disturbing, disorienting and dizzying.
But we cannot universalize what we cannot prove – this would just be the attempt to turn personal preferences into universal rules: “I like blue, therefore blue is universally preferable.”
No, we must first prove morality – only then can we universalize it.
To prove morality, we must first accept that anything that is impossible cannot also be true.
It cannot be true that a man can walk north and south at the same time.
It cannot be true that a ball can fall up and down at the same time.
It cannot be true that gases both expand and contract when heated.
It cannot be true that water both boils and freezes at the same temperature.
It cannot be true that 2 plus 2 equals both 4 and 5.
If all men are mortal, and Socrates is a man, then it cannot be true that Socrates is immortal.
If you say that impossible things can be true, then you are saying that you have a standard of truth that includes both truth and the opposite of truth, which is itself impossible.
The impossible is the opposite of the possible – if you say that both the possible and the impossible can be true, then you are saying that your standard for truth has two opposite standards, which cannot be valid. This would be like saying that the proof of a scientific theory is conformity with reason and evidence, and also the opposite of conformity with reason and evidence, or that profit in a company equals both making money, and losing money.
All morality is universally preferable behaviour, in that it categorizes behaviour that should ideally be chosen or avoided by all people, at all times. We do not say that rape is evil only on Wednesdays, or 1° north of the equator, or only by tall people. Rape is always and forever wrong – we understand this instinctively, though it is a challenge to prove it rationally.
Remember, that which is impossible can never be true.
If we put forward the proposition that “rape is universally preferable behaviour,” can that ever be true?
If it is impossible, it can never be true.
If we logically analyse the proposition that “rape is universally preferable behaviour,” we quickly find that it is impossible.
The statement demands that everyone prefers rape – to rape and be raped at all times, and under all circumstances.
Aside from the logistical challenges of both raping and being raped at the same time, the entire proposition immediately contradicts itself. Since it is self-contradictory, it is impossible, and if it is impossible, it can neither be true nor valid.
If “rape is universally preferable behaviour,” then everyone must want to rape and be raped at all times.
However, rape is by definition violently unwanted sexual behaviour.
In other words, it is only “rape” because it is decidedly not preferred.
Since the category “rape” only exists because one person wants it, while the other person – his or her victim – desperately does not want it, rape cannot be universally preferable.
No behaviour that only exists because one person wants it, and the other person does not, can ever be in the category of “universally preferable.”
Therefore, it is impossible that rape is universally preferable behaviour.
What about the opposite? Not raping?
Can “not raping” logically ever be “universally preferable behaviour”?
In other words, are there innate self-contradictions in the statement “not raping is universally preferable behaviour”?
No.
Everyone on the planet can simultaneously “not rape” without logical self-contradiction. Two neighbours can both be gardening at the same time – which is “not raping” – without self-contradiction. All of humanity can operate under the “don’t rape” rule without any logical contradictions whatsoever.
Therefore, when we say that “rape is wrong,” we mean this in a dual sense – rape is morally wrong, and it is morally wrong because any attempt to make rape “moral” – i.e. universally preferable behaviour – creates immediate self-contradictions, and therefore is impossible, and therefore cannot be correct or valid.
It is both morally and logically wrong.
What about assault?
Well, assault occurs when one person violently attacks another person who does not want the attack to occur. (This does not apply to sports such as boxing or wrestling where aggressive attacks are agreed to beforehand.)
This follows the same asymmetry as rape.
Assault can never be universally preferable behaviour, because if it were, everyone must want to assault and be assaulted at all times and under all circumstances.
However, if you want to be assaulted, then it is not assault.
Boom.
What about theft?
Well, theft is the unwanted transfer of property.
To say that theft is universally preferable behaviour is to argue that everyone must want to steal and be stolen from at all times, and under all circumstances.
However, if you want to be stolen from, it is not theft – the category completely disappears when it is universalized.
If I want you to take my property, you are not stealing from me.
If I put a couch by the side of the road with a sign saying “TAKE ME,” I cannot call you a thief for taking the couch.
Theft cannot be universally preferable behaviour because again, it is asymmetrical, in that it is wanted by one party – the thief – but desperately not wanted by the other party – the person stolen from.
If a category only exists because one person wants it, but the other person doesn’t, it cannot fall under the category of “universally preferable behaviour.”
The same goes for murder.
Murder is the unwanted killing of another.
If someone wants to be killed, this would fall under the category of euthanasia, which is different from murder, which is decidedly unwanted.
In this way, rape, theft, assault and murder can never be universally preferable behaviours.
The nonaggression principle and a respect for property rights fully conform to rational morality, in that they can be universalized with perfect consistency.
There is no contradiction in the proposal that everyone should respect persons and property at all times. To not initiate the use of force, and to not steal, are both perfectly logically consistent.
Of course, morality exists because people want to do evil – we do not live in heaven, at least not yet.
“Universally preferable behaviour” is a method of evaluating moral propositions which entirely accepts that some people want to do evil.
The reason why it is so essential is because the greatest evils in the world are done not by violent or greedy individuals, but rather by false moral systems such as fascism, communism, socialism and so on.
In the 20th century alone, governments murdered 250 million of their own citizens – outside of war, just slaughtering them in the streets, in gulags and concentration camps.
Individual murderers can at worst kill only a few dozen people in their lifetime, and such serial killers are extraordinarily rare.
Compare this to the toll of war.
A thief may steal your car, but it takes a government to have you born into millions of dollars of intergenerational debt and unfunded liabilities.
Now, remember when I told you that when we universalize your individual experience, we end up with great and dizzying truths?
Get ready.
What is theft?
The unwanted transfer of property, usually through the threat of force.
What is the national debt?
The unwanted transfer of property, through the threat of force.
Individuals in governments have run up incomprehensible debts to be paid by the next generations – the ultimate example of “taxation without representation.”
The concept of “government” is a moral theory, just like “slavery” and “theocracy” and “honour killings.”
The theory is that some individuals must initiate the use of force, while other individuals are banned from initiating the use of force.
Those within the “government” are defined by their moral and legal rights to initiate the use of force, while those outside the “government” are defined by moral and legal bans on initiating the use of force.
This is an entirely contradictory moral theory.
If initiating the use of force is wrong, then it is wrong for everyone, since morality is universally preferable behaviour.
If all men are mortal, we cannot say that Socrates is both a man and immortal.
If initiating force is universally wrong, we cannot say that it is wrong for some people, but right for others.
“Government” is a moral theory that is entirely self-contradictory – and that which is self-contradictory is impossible – as we accepted earlier – and thus cannot be valid.
If a biologist creates a category called “mammal” which is defined by being “warm-blooded,” is it valid to include cold-blooded creatures in that category?
Of course not.
If a physicist proposes a rule that all matter has the property of gravity, can he also say that obsidian has the property of antigravity?
Of course not.
If all matter has gravity, and obsidian is composed of matter, then obsidian must have gravity.
If we say that morality applies to all humans, can we create a separate category of humans for which the opposite of morality applies?
Of course not.
I mean, we can do whatever we want, but it’s neither true nor moral.
If we look at something like counterfeiting, we understand that counterfeiting is the creation of pretend currency based on no underlying value or limitation.
Counterfeiting is illegal for private citizens, but legal – and indeed encouraged – for those protected by the government.
Thus, by the moral theory of “government,” that which is evil for one person, is virtuous for another.
No.
False.
That which is self-contradictory cannot stand.
People who live by ignoring obvious self-contradictions are generally called insane.
They cannot succeed for long in this life.
Societies that live by ignoring obvious self-contradictions are also insane, although we generally call them degenerate, decadent, declining and corrupt.
Such societies cannot succeed for long in this world.
The only real power – the essence of political power – is to create opposite moral categories for power-mongers.
What is evil for you is good for them.
It is disorienting to take our personal morals and truly universalize them.
So what?
Do you think we have reached the perfect end of our moral journey as a species?
Is there nothing left to improve upon when it comes to virtue?
Every evil person creates opposite standards for themselves – the thief says that he can steal, but others should not, because he doesn’t like to be stolen from!
Politicians say that they must use violence, but citizens must not.
Nothing that is self-contradictory can last for long.
You think we have finished our moral journey?
Of course not.
Shake off your stupor, wake up to the corruption all around and within you.
Like “government,” slavery was a universal morally-justified ethic for almost all of human history.
Until it wasn’t.