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Stef the following question is a follow up question to a previous question I asked involving the elephant man. Now the question I am going to ask you Stef is an entirely seperate question but is in spirit a follow up as it deals with the central issue of principles I had raised previously in the elephant man questions. The reason I ask this new question is because the following very real scenario I will be referring to involves yourself Stef in a very recent interaction here on Freedomain Locals. On a very recent call in with a German guy you asked the German guy what’s the issue in regards to following principles. He said ‘It’s hard’. I was very interested in hearing what he was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’. I think I know what he was referring to, I think he was referring to the fact that if you follow principles it will likely lead you nowhere in the modern world of women and relationships. Not to say I have a problem with the principles you advocate for Stef, but does following principles really lead to results in the modern world of dating & relationships? Let me give you evidence to back up my claim, evidence that you Stef I know are all too familiar with. Women as you are aware Stef are drawn to bad guys, jerks, even in some cases criminals. I don’t have to remind you Stef the most popular book of all time with women is ‘50 Shades of Grey’. A book about a brutal arrogant jerk who blindfolds women and smacks them on the ass with a belt and wooden spoon. Additionally there is an old saying Stef women love drama and ‘you can make a woman feel anything, just don’t make her feel nothing’. Now I get & fully understand the point of following principles that you advocate for Stef but in the face of all the evidence that suggests the average women isn’t really looking for a guy with virtue who follows principles I do think you have to deal with those very real facts. I’m not saying following principles is guaranteed to lead to failure, it’s possible this caller might find the unicorn who is not driven by drama and Mr. Grey bad boy energy, but on the balance of probabilities if he follows principles will he find this super rare woman? I don’t think those odds are good, again in the face of all the competing evidence I have just stated Stef I think that is a very reasonable assertion to make. What I am referring to is practicality Stef. Is it practical for this German caller to follow principles when a lot of the evidence suggests women aren’t searching for a man with virtuous principles, again on average, but as you said yourself Stef on your recent episode criticising long distance relationships ‘What makes you believe you would be the exception to the rule?’. Was it the practicality of following principles is what the caller was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’. I think so, when he compared your advice to other advice, advice from dating coaches who say women like jerks and bad boys and guys that don’t care about them. Again Stef you can question the morals such advice giver gives out but in the face of all the competing evidence about ‘50 Shades of Grey’ and women continually dating jerks and in some cases even in more extreme cases criminals you can’t say such advice is not practical advice based on very common real world anecdotal evidence. I’m not contesting the value of the principles you preach Stef, I am questioning the practicality of applying those principles in the modern dating world. Just as I was not questioning whether dating a prostitute was generally a good idea or not in my elephant man example, I was questioning the ‘practicality’ of following principles in the given elephant man scenario. I am now contesting the practicality of following principles in the face of all the evidence that shows women are attracted to domineering jerks. I’m not necessarily advising this caller to not follow principles either, but I do think the caller at least needs to understand and acknowledge why it’s hard to follow principles - it’s very simple, in general women like a bit of drama and a guy with a bit of an edge. The caller seemed very logical, rational and very calm and whilst I respect these personality traits - I will be frank a lot of women find this type of logical personality boring, so there are the challenges I think men like the caller is facing, and I am again not instructing this caller to follow principles or not Stef, I am just addressing what I think he was referring to when he said ‘it’s hard’, and if that was what he was referring to then I think another call in with that caller would be appropriate to address these very relevant issues in a world that is gradually descending into a haze of immoral people having relationships and children whilst people with principles just stand back on the sidelines with their principles. Now Stef I leave you with a Youtube video of a streamer named Casey Zander because I think he gives advice very different from yours Stef, & you can contest the morality of his advice Stef but it would be interesting Stef if you can contest the practicality of this guy’s advice in the face of all the evidence that shows women like cocky arrogant pricks or at least a guy with an edge over a guy who follows principles and reason?

If you are not restricted by an NDA or similar:

Have any DROs reached out to offer you a position on their board of advisors; or, have you considered the endeavor yourself, maybe even as a philosophical Judge Judy show? 👨‍⚖️

I recently had a falling out with my older brother...he has been going through a really tough time as of late and I've been calling and checking in on hime everyday....but over the past month I may have been a little too pushy and have been asking questions to see if there was any more I could do...he's suffering from a deep depression and I have suggested he try to push through the pain and get on a schedule and change his habits in small increments....he hung up on me twice and then the last 2 conversations he rushed me quickly off the phone bc he doesn't care to hear anything more...so I stopped calling him....now a month has gone by...he has not.picked up the phone and neither have i....am I wrong for backing away? Or am I abandoning him when he's at his most vulnerable? I can't help but feel a strange sadness come.over me but also at the same time a sense of freedom....am I doing the right thing?

how can we best help you spread the message of Peaceful Parenting?

Hi Stef, do you have an opinion on lending people money? I have always been a saver, and maintained the mindset of self reliance. When life has thrown me a curveball, I have been able to manage financial eventualities on my own. Perhaps because of this, the perception has been that all is well with me, and I have no problems. Maybe this is why people have always reached out to me for help. I have to admit that I have had difficulty saying no, and of course most have payed me back, but there are the few times that I have been burned. Do you think in life, it should be our duty to help friends, family with need, or should I adopt a sterner policy, and if so could it be something that could come back to bite me, should I one day be in need?

Hi Stef, for the last 13 years I have been helping my Sister invest, from telling her what to invest in through to managing those investments in real time (through weekly market research) along side my investments as a full time investor.

In the process I have made her million’s and she is on the verge of generational wealth which has allowed both her and her husband to either retire or semi retire to focus on raising their child.

Over those 13 years I did not ask for anything in return, I wanted to help my Sister and I am aware of the dangers of stealth contracts where you expect something in return even though the other person is not aware of it and how that can build resentment.

Despite knowing this I am starting to feel a bit of resentment due to the duration I have been doing it and the amount of money I have made her, and I have had nothing in return for all what I have done.
Even at Christmas all I was given was a £30 pair of jogging trousers which I didn’t want.

Is it right to feel hurt by a lack of reciprocity even though I originally was happy to help her out without asking for anything in return? Or would this fall under a stealth contract which is wrong?