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What sparked the idea behind your recent poll and proposal video to reconsider paid private calls?
What are your thoughts on the result of the poll and subsequent comments?
Stef I am currently seeing a woman, I would not say she is my girlfriend I just have chatted with her a few times and she gave me her phone number. Anyway I saw her Instagram page by random accident, maybe not completely random as the algorithm probably recognised that my phone number is on her contacts list. Anyway, I saw her Instagram page and I decided to take a look, it has several pro Aboriginal posts. This woman does not know the truth about indigenous Australian history and if she did would she still put these posts praising Aborginal culture on her Instagram? My question is Stef how do I break the news that Indigenous Australian ‘history’ as presented in Australian schools, universities ...
You've constantly asked for feedback on your books, and I think I have something valuable to mention regarding your fictional work. I've noticed this right from the start but it took me years to get my head around it and come up with something that hopefully makes sense.
Your dumb, low-IQ, or shallow characters do not feel genuine. The example that I have in mind is the guy in the Just Poor novel who gets his head smacked by his partner when trying to sell the stuff they produced at their "co-op" farm. His actions and overall behavior are in line with how a real-life dumb person might behave, but his inner dialogue and the way he expresses his ideas often seem way more complex than they should be.
I was born and live in a country in Eastern Europe with an average IQ of 86 and I've met a large number of low-IQ people throughout my lifetime. They have significant difficulties in articulating their ideas and they have a limited vocabulary so the way they speak is inferior to how the Just Poor guy I mentioned speaks and thinks.
This next example hopefully clarifies my case even further. I got a similar sense with Arlo in The Present. He acted and behaved just like a shallow, self-absorbed individual but his inner dialogue and some of his speeches showed a lot of depth and meaning.
I initially thought that it might be difficult for a brilliant, high-IQ, and profound writer to create characters that are somehow the opposite of himself. On the other hand, you do seem very able to create evil characters.
Another explanation is that it is easy for you to create smart, passionate, productive, funny, engaging, gross, evil, and violent people in your stories because you've had close contact with such traits throughout your lifetime, but you've had very limited contact with dumb or shallow people. What do you think? Am I misinterpreting your characters or are there any challenges when writing the type of people I mentioned?
HI Stef. Have you ever made a list of must read books? like maybe your top 10, or even 100? Thank you.
hi Stef! I am about 5 months into a serious relationship with a woman who I'd one day like to marry. I often have, or at least try to have, very in-depth conversations with her about our past, about emotions, etc, but I notice she gets sort of vague and foggy and I feel she isnt truly opening up with me.
When I press her on this, I get responses such as she is afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of rejection, afraid of change, stuff like this. I feel like when I try to dig deeper, I inevitably hit a wall. And while I do my best to be totally open and honest with her, I struggle with getting her to be as open and honest with me.
What can a man do in a situation like this in order to convince a girl to open up about herself more? Is it a matter of patience, or should I keep pressing it?
Some background that could help: She was raised in what appears to be a nice family with 6 siblings. She's kind and considerate with others. But she seems to have an aversion to being up-front and moving forward in life, and she's always been somewhat socially recluse; she doesnt have many friends, and isnt very close to anyone outside of her family.
I would greatly appreciate your help on this. Thank you, Stef!
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Friday Morning Twitter Space 11 July 2025
In this episode, I examine the relationship between personal trauma, substance use, and moral dilemmas. We discuss how many individuals turn to self-medication to cope with emotional pain, highlighting the psychological factors at play. I challenge the notion that drug use leads to genuine insights, arguing it often masks deeper issues.
We also explore the importance of responsibility in parenting and moral education, emphasizing the need for empathy and accountability. Through personal anecdotes, I urge listeners to reflect on their life choices and strive for deeper connections. This conversation invites engagement with the complexities of drug use and morality, advocating for an understanding of human growth and redemption.
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Twitter Space 24 July 2025
In this episode, I critically examine the philosophical ideas of Alan Watts, questioning the relevance of his insights on anxiety, childhood, and personal responsibility. I challenge Watts’ assertion that anxiety is unproductive, arguing instead that it can serve as a vital catalyst for action and survival, much as it did for our ancestors. The discussion encourages listeners to reflect on the importance of embracing anxiety rather than suppressing it, particularly in the context of personal growth and financial stability. By exploring the societal implications of anxiety, especially among women, I invite the audience to consider how their values and choices impact their lives. Ultimately, this episode offers a nuanced perspective on the relationship between anxiety and proactive living, emphasizing that channeling our worries can lead to meaningful engagement and reduce regret.
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Regular Friday night philosophy chat fest -- come bring your questions!
Anxious? Learn to love your worry!
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