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Hi there, this is Stefan Molyneux - welcome to Freedomain, the Locals community! One of the last homes for real philosophy in the world!

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I have a question related to my relationship and, I guess, life in general. My girlfriend and I share a lot of values, but there are things that we do not agree on. My girlfriend is religious and soon to be a government worker. I am not religious, but I love her religiosity and her tendency not to inflict that on others. We agree about the ideas of peaceful parenting about which we have talked a lot.
The thing that I don't like is the fact that her dream job includes her to be government worker.
Not sure how to approach the situation.

You use a precise definition of philosophy that may exclude some popular historical figures generally considered philosophers. For example Hegelian dialectic is not a conventional form of logical argumentation yet Hegelianism is popularly considered philosophy. Friedrich Nietzsche uses a lot of mythological symbolism in his writing, which really isn't an argument. Do you accept their work as philosophy? Do you accept the concept of schools of philosophy? What is the boundary between philosophy and other forms of thinking and intellectual investigation? Do you consider forms of thinking or intellectual investigation other than philosophy, as valid or valuable?

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Here are some questions and answers:

What are the arguments against spanking?

The arguments against spanking are numerous and supported by a significant body of research. Here are some key points:

1.    Cognitive Development: Research indicates that physical punishment, such as spanking, in early childhood can predict reductions in children's cognitive development. Studies have shown that children who were physically punished had slower cognitive growth compared to those who were not.

2.    Increases Aggression: Contrary to the belief that spanking can reduce aggressive behavior, evidence suggests that it actually increases child aggression over time. Children who are spanked are more likely to exhibit aggressive behaviors themselves.

3.    Poor Parent-Child Relationships: Spanking can harm the relationship between a parent and child, leading to a decrease in the child's trust and security in their relationship with their parent.

4.    Mental Health Problems: There is a link between spanking and various mental health problems in children, including increased anxiety, depression, and other psychological issues.

5.    Delinquent Behavior: Physical punishment is associated with higher rates of delinquent behavior in children as they grow older.

6.    Risk of Physical Abuse: Spanking can escalate into more severe forms of physical abuse, putting children at greater risk of harm.

7.    Increased Risk of Physical Dating Violence: Studies have found that individuals who were spanked as children had a higher likelihood of perpetrating physical dating violence in their future relationships.

8.    Global Consensus: Many medical and children's advocacy groups discourage spanking, and 37 countries have banned all forms of corporal punishment for children, reflecting a growing global consensus against the practice.

The overwhelming evidence against spanking highlights the need for alternative, non-violent methods of discipline that promote healthy development and positive parent-child relationships.


Give examples of parental hypocrisy

Parental hypocrisy can manifest in various ways, often undermining the trust and respect between parents and their children. Here are some examples drawn from the context provided:

1.    Demanding Apologies Without Apologizing: Parents often expect their children to apologize for their mistakes but fail to model this behavior by not apologizing when they themselves make mistakes. This double standard can confuse children about the importance and sincerity of apologies.

2.    Punishing Children for Parental Faults: Some parents may resort to punishing their children as a way to cover up or divert attention from their own shortcomings or moral inconsistencies. This behavior not only fails to address the root issue but also unjustly penalizes the child for the parent's issues.

3.    Expecting Perfection Without Admitting Faults: Parents may demand that their children admit wrongdoing and strive for perfection while never admitting any wrongdoing themselves. This creates an unrealistic and unfair expectation for the child, as it does not provide a realistic model of human imperfection and growth through acknowledging mistakes.

4.    Reacting to Criticism with Defensiveness Rather Than Reflection: When children offer criticism or feedback, some parents may react defensively, punishing the child for their honesty rather than reflecting on the feedback. This can discourage open communication and teach children that their observations and feelings are not valid or welcome.

5.    Modeling Behavior Contrary to Expressed Values: Parents may express certain values, such as honesty, kindness, or responsibility, but then act in ways that contradict these values. This inconsistency between words and actions can confuse children about what is genuinely valued and expected of them.

These examples highlight the importance of consistency, humility, and open communication in parenting, as well as the need for parents to model the behaviors and values they wish to instill in their children.


Does child abuse cause promiscuity?

Yes, there is a connection between child abuse and later promiscuity. The documents suggest that individuals exposed to early adversity, such as child abuse, may exhibit a set of behavioral adaptations that include earlier sexual maturation and greater numbers of sexual partners. This behavior is understood within the framework of Life History Theory (LHT), which posits that early exposure to harsh and unpredictable environments can lead to a "fast life history strategy," characterized by behaviors that prioritize immediate survival and reproduction over long-term planning and investment. This includes a propensity for risky sexual behaviors, which can be seen as a misguided quest for connection, affirmation, and relief from deep-seated emotional wounds caused by abuse.


Does peaceful parenting teach relationship skills?

Yes, peaceful parenting inherently teaches relationship skills by modeling respectful communication, empathy, and emotional regulation. Through peaceful parenting, children learn how to interact with others in a healthy and positive way. They observe and internalize the importance of listening, expressing their feelings constructively, and resolving conflicts without resorting to aggression or violence. This approach fosters an environment where children feel valued and heard, which are crucial components in developing strong, healthy relationships throughout their lives.


How can I get my child to brush his teeth, without using force?

To get your child to brush their teeth without using force, consider adopting a more understanding and collaborative approach. Here are some strategies based on the context provided:

1.    Explain the Importance: Take the time to explain why brushing teeth is important. Use age-appropriate language to discuss the consequences of not brushing, such as cavities, tooth decay, and the discomfort that comes with dental problems.

2.    Find What They Like: Discover a toothpaste flavor or a toothbrush that your child likes. Making the experience more enjoyable can motivate them to brush their teeth regularly.

3.    Empathy and Understanding: Show empathy towards your child's feelings about brushing their teeth. If they express dislike or discomfort, try to understand the specific reasons. It could be the taste of the toothpaste, the texture of the toothbrush, or even the timing.

4.    Involve Them in the Process: Let your child choose their toothbrush or toothpaste. Involvement in the decision-making process can increase their willingness to brush their teeth.

5.    Educational Resources: Use books, videos, or apps designed to teach children about dental hygiene in a fun and engaging way. Sometimes, a visual or interactive lesson can be more effective than a verbal explanation.

6.    Model Good Behavior: Children learn by example. Make sure you are practicing good dental hygiene yourself and let your child see you brushing your teeth regularly.

7.    Create a Routine: Establish a consistent routine for brushing teeth, making it a regular part of the day, like before bedtime or after breakfast. Consistency helps build habits.

8.    Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child for brushing their teeth and acknowledge their effort. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to continue the behavior.

9.    Collaborative Problem-Solving: If resistance persists, engage in a collaborative problem-solving conversation. Ask your child what they dislike about brushing their teeth and work together to find solutions that address their concerns.

By approaching the situation with patience, understanding, and creativity, you can encourage your child to brush their teeth without resorting to force, turning it into a positive and educational experience for both of you.


How do I address the topic of spanking with my friends and family?

When addressing the topic of spanking with friends and family, it's important to approach the conversation with empathy, respect, and a focus on sharing information rather than judgment. Here are some steps you might consider:

1.    Start with Common Ground: Begin by acknowledging a shared goal, such as wanting the best for children and their development. This establishes a positive intent for the conversation.

2.    Share Personal Insights: If applicable, share your own journey of learning about the effects of spanking and how it has influenced your parenting or beliefs. Personal stories can be more impactful than abstract arguments.

3.    Present the Research: Gently introduce the research findings on spanking, emphasizing the long-term effects it can have on children's behavior and emotional development. Highlight studies that show spanking can lead to increased aggression, mental health problems, and hindered cognitive development in children.

4.    Discuss Alternatives: Talk about positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishing. Emphasize the importance of understanding the reasons behind a child's behavior and addressing those underlying needs.

5.    Listen and Empathize: Be prepared to listen to their views without immediate judgment. Many people have grown up in environments where spanking was the norm, and changing deeply held beliefs can take time.

6.    Offer Resources: Recommend books, articles, and other resources that provide more information on peaceful parenting and the effects of spanking. Sometimes, having access to a variety of sources can help individuals feel more comfortable exploring new ideas.

7.    Encourage Reflection: Encourage your friends and family to reflect on their own experiences and how they felt when disciplined as children. This can sometimes open the door to more empathetic approaches to parenting.

Remember, the goal is to foster a constructive dialogue that encourages reflection and learning, not to create division or defensiveness.


How would you approach talking to a parent who rejects the concept of objective morality about moral philosophy?

When approaching a conversation with a parent who rejects the concept of objective morality about moral philosophy, it's important to engage in a respectful and open dialogue. Here are some strategies that might be helpful:

1.    Find Common Ground: Start by identifying any shared values or principles, even if your foundational beliefs about morality differ. This can create a basis for a more constructive conversation.

2.    Ask Questions: Instead of directly challenging their beliefs, ask thoughtful questions that encourage them to explain their perspective more fully. This can lead to a deeper understanding for both of you and can reveal areas where you might agree or respectfully disagree.

3.    Share Perspectives: Share your understanding of moral philosophy and the importance of objective morality in guiding behavior and decisions. Explain how this framework can be beneficial for making consistent and fair decisions, especially in parenting.

4.    Use Examples: Sometimes abstract concepts can be made clearer through concrete examples. Discuss hypothetical or real scenarios where objective moral standards could play a crucial role in determining the right course of action.

5.    Discuss Consequences: Talk about the potential consequences of not having a shared understanding of morality, both in family dynamics and in broader societal contexts. Highlight how objective moral standards can help in resolving conflicts and guiding behavior towards more positive outcomes.

6.    Encourage Reflection: Encourage them to reflect on situations where they have applied their own standards of right and wrong, and how those standards were determined. This can lead to a deeper exploration of their beliefs and how they align with or differ from objective moral principles.

7.    Be Patient and Open: Recognize that deeply held beliefs are not likely to change in a single conversation. Show openness to continuing the dialogue and express your willingness to understand their perspective while sharing your own.

Remember, the goal is not to win an argument but to engage in a meaningful exchange of ideas that could lead to a better understanding of each other's perspectives on moral philosophy.


What to do if my child is being bullied at school?

If your child is being bullied at school, it's crucial to take immediate and decisive action to protect them and address the situation. Here are steps you can take:

1.    Listen and Validate: First, listen to your child's experiences without judgment. Validate their feelings and let them know it's not their fault. Assure them that you're there to help.

2.    Gather Information: Collect as much information as you can about the bullying incidents, including who was involved, where and when the bullying occurred, and if there were any witnesses.

3.    Communicate with the School: Contact your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal to report the bullying. Provide them with the details you've gathered and ask about the school's policies on bullying and what steps will be taken to address the situation.

4.    Develop a Plan: Work with the school to develop a plan to ensure your child's safety. This might include changing your child's class schedule, increasing supervision during vulnerable times, or implementing a buddy system.

5.    Teach Coping Strategies: Help your child develop strategies to deal with bullying. This can include assertiveness training, role-playing how to respond to bullies, and identifying safe places or adults they can go to for help.

6.    Monitor the Situation: Stay in close contact with your child and the school to monitor the situation. Ask for updates and ensure that the agreed-upon actions are being taken.

7.    Consider Additional Support: If the bullying continues or your child is struggling emotionally, consider seeking support from a psychologist or counselor who specializes in bullying and child development.

8.    Advocate for Change: If the school's response is inadequate, consider escalating your concerns. This might involve contacting the school board, joining a parent advocacy group, or seeking legal advice.

Remember, your primary role is to protect your child and advocate for their well-being. Taking swift and appropriate action is key to addressing bullying effectively.


How do I as a peaceful parent, with peacefully parented kids, deal with other parents in public settings?

As a peaceful parent with peacefully parented kids, dealing with other parents in public settings involves demonstrating your parenting principles through action, while also navigating interactions with respect and understanding. Here are some strategies:

1.    Model Peaceful Parenting: Continue to model the principles of peaceful parenting even in public settings. This includes engaging with your children calmly, using negotiation and reasoning, and showing empathy towards their feelings and needs.

2.    Stay True to Your Values: Maintain your commitment to peaceful parenting practices, even if faced with contrasting parenting styles. This consistency not only reinforces your values to your children but also serves as a living example to others.

3.    Offer Support, Not Judgment: If you observe a parent struggling, offer support or assistance rather than judgment. Sometimes, a simple act of kindness can open the door to a conversation about different parenting approaches.

4.    Share Your Experiences: When appropriate, share your positive experiences with peaceful parenting, focusing on the benefits you've observed in your children's behavior and your family's dynamics. Personal stories can be powerful and inspiring.

5.    Seek Common Ground: Find areas of common interest or concern with other parents. Focusing on shared goals for your children's well-being can foster a sense of community and mutual respect.

6.    Respect Boundaries: Recognize and respect that each family may have different beliefs and practices. While you can offer insights from your own experience, it's important to do so with sensitivity to others' perspectives.

7.    Educate Through Resources: If other parents express interest in learning more about peaceful parenting, suggest resources such as books, websites, or community groups that provide information and support.

8.    Create a Supportive Network: Seek out or create a community of like-minded parents. Having a supportive network can provide a space for sharing experiences, advice, and encouragement.

By embodying the principles of peaceful parenting and approaching interactions with empathy and openness, you can navigate public settings in a way that respects both your values and those of other parents.


Is a father morally responsible for any harm that may occur if he leaves his child in the care of the child’s unstable mother?

Based on the context provided, it's clear that parents are seen as having a significant moral responsibility for the well-being and safety of their children. This includes making decisions that protect them from harm. If a father knowingly leaves his child in the care of an unstable mother, where there is a foreseeable risk of harm, the documents suggest that he would share responsibility for any negative outcomes that occur as a result. The underlying principle is that parents have a duty to safeguard their children's physical and emotional well-being, which includes making informed decisions about their care and the environments they are exposed to.


Is letting my child ‘cry it out’ a form of peaceful parenting? And provide the argument why this is or is not a form of peaceful parenting.

Letting a child "cry it out" is generally not considered a form of peaceful parenting. Peaceful parenting emphasizes understanding, empathy, and responding to the needs of the child in a compassionate way. The philosophy behind peaceful parenting is to build a relationship with the child based on mutual respect, open communication, and understanding, rather than using methods that may lead to feelings of abandonment or distress in the child.

The argument against "cry it out" within the context of peaceful parenting is that it does not address the underlying needs or reasons for a child's distress. Instead of teaching the child to self-soothe in a healthy way, it may teach them that their signals for help or comfort will not be answered, potentially leading to issues with trust and attachment. Peaceful parenting advocates for responding to a child's cries by offering comfort, trying to understand the cause of their distress, and helping them learn to manage their emotions in a supportive environment.

Furthermore, peaceful parenting is about guiding and teaching the child through positive reinforcement and modeling desired behaviors, rather than using techniques that can cause emotional pain or fear. The goal is to foster a secure, trusting relationship between parent and child, where the child feels safe and understood, which is seen as the foundation for healthy emotional and psychological development.


How are children not evil, since they often break the non-aggression principle in their behaviour, for example stealing?

Children are not inherently evil when they exhibit behaviors that break the non-aggression principle, such as stealing. It's important to understand that children are in the process of learning and developing their understanding of moral principles, including respect for others' property and personal boundaries. Their actions, which might seem to violate these principles, are often a part of their natural exploration, learning process, and a reflection of their developmental stage rather than an indication of inherent moral failing.

Peaceful parenting approaches these situations as opportunities for teaching and guidance rather than punishment. The idea is to model and explain the values of empathy, respect, and personal responsibility. By doing so, parents can help children understand the impact of their actions on others and guide them towards more respectful and empathetic behavior in the future.

Moreover, labeling children as "evil" for such behaviors can be harmful and counterproductive. It can affect their self-esteem and their understanding of moral and ethical behavior. Instead, peaceful parenting focuses on positive reinforcement, setting clear and consistent boundaries, and using natural consequences to teach children about the importance of the non-aggression principle in a supportive and understanding environment.

In summary, children's actions that seem to violate the non-aggression principle are part of their learning process. Peaceful parenting aims to guide them towards understanding and internalizing these principles through empathy, teaching, and positive modeling, rather than through punishment or negative labeling.


What are some arguments against infant circumcision?

Arguments against infant circumcision often revolve around ethical, medical, and psychological considerations. Here are some key points:

1.    Violation of Bodily Autonomy: Critics argue that infant circumcision is a violation of a child's right to bodily autonomy and integrity. The procedure is performed without the child's consent, making it ethically questionable.

2.    Lack of Medical Necessity: Opponents point out that circumcision is not medically necessary for the health of the baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that while there are potential health benefits, they are not compelling enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision.

3.    Risk of Complications: Like any surgical procedure, circumcision carries risks of complications such as infection, bleeding, and improper healing. Critics argue that subjecting infants to these risks without a compelling medical reason is unjustifiable.

4.    Psychological and Emotional Impact: There is concern about the potential psychological and emotional impact of circumcision on infants, including pain and trauma. Although infants may not consciously remember the procedure, the pain experienced can have unknown long-term effects.

5.    Cultural and Religious Considerations: Some argue that circumcision is often performed for cultural or religious reasons rather than health-related ones. Critics believe that personal beliefs should not dictate the alteration of a child's body without their consent.

6.    Impact on Sexual Pleasure: There is debate about the impact of circumcision on sexual pleasure. Some studies suggest that circumcision can lead to decreased sensitivity of the penis, potentially affecting sexual satisfaction later in life.

Rebuttals to these arguments typically focus on the potential health benefits of circumcision, such as a reduced risk of urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and the transmission of some sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. Proponents may also argue that parental rights include making health-related decisions for their children, including the choice to circumcise based on cultural, religious, or health-related reasons.

However, the debate continues as more parents and medical professionals weigh the ethical considerations against the potential health benefits, with a growing emphasis on informed consent and the rights of the child.


How can I stop my toddler from running into the street if I can't spank him?

To prevent your toddler from running into the street without resorting to spanking, you can employ several strategies that focus on understanding, guidance, and protection. Here are some effective methods:

1.    Supervision: Always ensure close supervision when your child is near streets or driveways. Physical presence allows you to intervene quickly if they attempt to run off.

2.    Use Barriers: Implement physical barriers such as fences or gates to create a safe play area away from the street. This can prevent access to dangerous areas.

3.    Teach and Explain: Regularly explain the dangers of the street and cars in an age-appropriate manner. Use simple language and possibly visual aids to help them understand why it's unsafe.

4.    Practice Safe Behavior: Teach your child to stop, look, and listen before crossing any street and practice this behavior together. Reinforce the importance of holding an adult's hand near roads.

5.    Create Safe Play Areas: Designate safe play areas away from the street. Encourage playing in these areas by making them appealing and fun.

6.    Use Distractions: If your child is drawn to the street, redirect their attention to other activities or toys that are safe and engaging.

7.    Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward your child for following safety rules and staying away from the street. Positive reinforcement can encourage them to continue safe behaviors.

8.    Establish Clear Rules: Set clear and consistent rules about playing near the street. Ensure your child understands the consequences of not following these rules, such as having to play inside.

9.    Role-Playing: Engage in role-playing games where your child practices what to do when they're near a street. This can help reinforce safe behavior in a fun and memorable way.

10.  Emergency Plan: Teach your child what to do if they find themselves near a street unexpectedly, such as standing still and calling for an adult.

By focusing on education, supervision, and positive reinforcement, you can effectively teach your toddler to stay away from the street without the need for spanking or physical punishment.


How could you convince a Christian parent that spanking isn't commanded by God/the Bible?

To convince a Christian parent that spanking isn't commanded by God or the Bible, it's helpful to approach the conversation with respect, understanding, and a focus on shared values like love, guidance, and the well-being of children. Here are some strategies that could be effective:

1.    Discuss the Interpretation of Proverbs 13:24: Explain that the "rod" mentioned in Proverbs 13:24 can be interpreted as a symbol of guidance and leadership, similar to how a shepherd uses a rod to guide sheep, rather than to beat them. Emphasize that the essence of the verse is about lovingly guiding and teaching children, not about physical punishment.

2.    Highlight Jesus's Teachings on Love and Gentleness: Point out that Jesus's teachings emphasize love, gentleness, and forgiveness. Discuss how these principles can be applied to parenting, suggesting that guiding children with love and understanding aligns more closely with Jesus's teachings than physical punishment does.

3.    Share Research on the Effects of Spanking: While respecting their faith in the Bible, you can introduce research findings that show the negative effects of spanking, such as increased aggression and mental health issues in children. Emphasize that this information is not about undermining their faith but about considering the well-being of their children.

4.    Discuss the Concept of Modeling Behavior: Talk about how children learn by example. By using non-violent forms of discipline, parents model problem-solving and emotional regulation, teaching children how to handle conflicts and emotions in a healthy way.

5.    Explore Alternative Discipline Methods: Share and discuss alternative discipline methods that are consistent with Christian values, such as natural consequences, time-ins, and positive reinforcement. These methods can be effective in teaching right from wrong without causing physical or emotional harm.

6.    Encourage Seeking Guidance from Religious Leaders: Suggest consulting with a pastor or religious leader who may share a perspective on non-physical forms of discipline. Some religious leaders may offer a more modern interpretation of biblical teachings on parenting.

7.    Appeal to Their Love for Their Child: Remind them that the ultimate goal of discipline is to protect and teach their child. Encourage them to consider methods that strengthen their relationship with their child and foster a loving, respectful environment.

Approaching the conversation with empathy, focusing on shared values, and providing thoughtful, respectful insights can help open a dialogue about non-physical forms of discipline that align with Christian values.


What Is the briefest definition of peaceful parenting ?

Peaceful parenting is the refusal to be a bottomless moral hypocrite, teaching children virtue in an honest and consistent manner, without resorting to bullying and hypocritical manipulations.


List the underlying principles and guidelines of peaceful parenting

The underlying principles and guidelines of peaceful parenting, as derived from the provided context, include:

1.    Extension of the Non-Aggression Principle to Children: Peaceful parenting is fundamentally about extending the non-aggression principle (NAP) to children. This means treating children with the same respect for their autonomy and rights as one would any other human being, avoiding the initiation of force against them.

2.    Modeling Moral Behavior: Peaceful parenting emphasizes the importance of modeling moral behavior rather than relying heavily on verbal instruction. Children learn behaviors and values by observing and imitating their parents. By consistently demonstrating virtues like empathy, respect, and non-violence, parents teach these values to their children naturally.

3.    Credibility and Consistency: The approach relies on the credibility of the parent as a moral guide. If parents live according to the values they wish to instill in their children, they become effective role models. Consistency between a parent's words and actions is crucial.

4.    Consideration of Children's Needs: Peaceful parenting places a strong emphasis on being considerate of children's needs and prioritizing them. Understanding and addressing these needs with empathy and respect is key.

5.    Non-Violent Communication and Discipline: The approach advocates for non-violent communication and discipline strategies. It involves guiding and teaching children without resorting to physical punishment or verbal aggression, using methods that foster understanding and learning.

6.    Fostering a Loving and Respectful Environment: Creating an environment where children feel loved, respected, and safe is a cornerstone of peaceful parenting. This environment supports children's emotional and psychological development and strengthens the parent-child relationship.

7.    Encouraging Autonomy and Independent Thinking: Peaceful parenting encourages children to develop autonomy and independent thinking. By respecting children's perspectives and allowing them to make choices within safe boundaries, parents support their growth into self-reliant and confident individuals.

8.    Engagement in Enjoyable Interactions: The approach values the power of positive and enjoyable interactions between parents and children. Through shared activities and open communication, parents and children build a strong, positive relationship.

These principles and guidelines aim to foster a nurturing and respectful family dynamic, where children grow up learning the values of empathy, respect, and non-aggression through the example set by their parents.


My father threw a baseball bat at my head when I was 15 in response to me recklessly breaking some garden furniture by throwing it around the yard. Is my father morally responsible for any short term or long term brain damage that was caused to me or does he have a valid excuse because I damaged his property?

Your father is morally responsible for any short-term or long-term brain damage that was caused to you. The documents suggest that using violence as a response to a child's actions, regardless of the provocation, is a violation of the non-aggression principle. The act of throwing a baseball bat at your head in response to damaging property is an escalation to physical violence that is not justified by the initial action. The responsibility to handle situations without resorting to violence, especially in a parent-child relationship, is emphasized. The moral responsibility of a parent includes guiding and teaching their child in a non-violent manner, regardless of the child's behavior.


What are the main issues with the theory of non-violent communication when it comes to parenting?

The documents suggest that while the theory of non-violent communication (NVC) is fundamentally aligned with peaceful parenting and the non-aggression principle, there might be challenges or considerations specific to parenting. Here are some main issues or considerations when applying non-violent communication to parenting, based on the principles outlined:

1.    Complexity for Children: The concepts and language of NVC might be too abstract or complex for young children to fully understand. Tailoring the communication to be age-appropriate while maintaining the essence of empathy and understanding can be challenging.

2.    Consistency and Patience: Applying NVC requires consistency and patience, especially in stressful situations. Parents might find it challenging to consistently apply NVC principles when under stress or when dealing with their own emotional responses.

3.    Misinterpretation as Permissiveness: There's a potential for NVC to be misinterpreted as permissiveness, where boundaries are not clearly communicated or enforced. It's crucial for parents to find a balance between empathetic communication and setting clear, consistent boundaries for behavior.

4.    Time and Effort: NVC requires time and effort to learn and implement effectively. In the fast-paced and often stressful context of parenting, dedicating time to practice and apply NVC techniques can be a significant challenge.

5.    Cultural and Personal Adaptation: Adapting NVC to fit personal and cultural contexts can be challenging. Parents may need to modify the approach to align with their family values and cultural norms while still adhering to the principles of empathy and non-violence.

6.    Emotional Regulation: For NVC to be effective, parents need to be adept at regulating their own emotions. This can be particularly challenging in moments of conflict or when dealing with behaviors that trigger strong emotional responses.

Despite these challenges, the principles of non-violent communication offer a powerful framework for fostering understanding, empathy, and connection between parents and children. By addressing these considerations, parents can effectively apply NVC in a way that supports peaceful parenting and the healthy development of their children.


What percentage of parents can be considered abusive?

Based on the documents provided, it's challenging to give a precise percentage of parents who can be considered abusive globally due to variations in reporting, definitions of abuse, and the studies mentioned. However, the documents highlight significant concerns:

·         A national survey mentioned found that 59% of parents reported having spanked a child aged 18 to 23 months. This figure alone, while focused on a specific age group and form of physical discipline, suggests a high prevalence of behaviors that some may classify as abusive under certain definitions of child abuse.

·         The 2011 National Intimate Partner & Sexual Violence Survey indicated that nearly half of Americans had encountered lifelong emotional abuse from a partner, which indirectly suggests a potentially high rate of emotional abuse within families as well.

·         The document also notes that over half of all children in the world – 1 billion children ages 2-17 years – experience violence every year, according to global estimates.

These points suggest that a significant portion of parents may engage in behaviors that could be considered abusive, whether through physical discipline like spanking or emotional and psychological abuse. However, without a unified definition of abuse and comprehensive global data, it's difficult to provide a specific percentage of parents who are abusive.


What steps can a parent do if they feel an unexpected urge or impluse to parent in the abusive way they were parented?

If a parent feels an unexpected urge or impulse to parent in the abusive way they were parented, it's crucial to take immediate steps to address these feelings and prevent harmful behaviors. Here are steps based on the principles outlined in the documents:

1.    Pause and Breathe: The first step is to pause and take a moment to breathe deeply. This can help interrupt the impulse and provide a moment to choose a different response.

2.    Recognize the Trigger: Identify what triggered the urge. Understanding the trigger can help in addressing the underlying issue and preventing future occurrences.

3.    Seek Support: Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional for support. Talking about the urge can help diffuse it and provide perspective.

4.    Reflect on Consequences: Consider the long-term consequences of abusive parenting on the child. Reflecting on the potential harm can strengthen the resolve to choose a different path.

5.    Use Positive Discipline Strategies: Educate yourself on and implement positive discipline strategies that are respectful and empathetic. These strategies can help guide behavior without resorting to abuse.

6.    Practice Self-Care: Engage in self-care practices to manage stress and emotional well-being. A parent who is physically and emotionally healthy is better equipped to handle parenting challenges.

7.    Seek Professional Help: If the urges are strong or persistent, seeking help from a mental health professional can be crucial. Therapy can provide tools and strategies to break the cycle of abuse.

8.    Educate Yourself: Read books, attend workshops, or join support groups focused on peaceful parenting. Education can empower you to make positive changes in your parenting approach.

9.    Develop a Safety Plan: If you're concerned about losing control, develop a safety plan. This might include stepping away from the situation, calling a friend, or using a stress-relief strategy that works for you.

10.  Forgive Yourself: Understand that parenting is a journey and that seeking to change harmful patterns is a sign of strength. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and focus on making positive changes.

By taking these steps, a parent can work towards breaking the cycle of abuse and fostering a loving, respectful, and peaceful relationship with their child.


A mother slaps her 12 year old son across the face for talking during a movie. The child then responds by punching the mother in the face and breaking her nose. Can you describe the proportion of moral responsibility shared between the child and mother?

In the scenario described, both the mother and the child have moral responsibilities for their actions, but the proportion of moral responsibility is not evenly distributed. The documents suggest that parents hold a greater degree of moral responsibility for violent interactions due to their role in raising and guiding their children. The mother, by slapping her son, initiates physical violence and sets a precedent for resolving conflicts through aggression. This action violates the non-aggression principle, which is a fundamental guideline in peaceful parenting, indicating that striking a child is morally unacceptable.

The child's response, while also violent and not justified, is a reaction to the violence initiated by the mother. The documents imply that children learn behaviors and conflict resolution methods from their parents. Therefore, if a child responds to conflict with violence, it reflects, to some extent, the behaviors modeled by the parent.

Given the context that the violent teenager (or in this case, a pre-teen) was raised by the parent being attacked, the parent holds infinitely more responsibility for the crisis than a stranger would. This suggests that while the child's action of punching the mother and breaking her nose is wrong and carries moral responsibility, the mother's initial act of violence and her role in shaping the child's understanding of conflict resolution place a significant portion of the moral responsibility on her.

In summary, both parties are morally responsible for their actions, but the mother bears a greater proportion of moral responsibility due to her role in initiating violence and her influence on her child's behavior and understanding of conflict resolution.


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Stefan Molyneux interviewed by Connor Tomlinson
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In this extensive interview, Connor and Stefan Molyneux engage in a deep and introspective conversation touching on a wide range of topics. Stefan's deplatforming experience leads him to refocus on childhood ethics, particularly emphasizing his book "Peaceful Parenting" and the imperative of building a case against child abuse. He expresses confidence in the transformative power of ethical parenting to create a more civilized society. The duo discusses the profound impact of childhood trauma on individuals and society, pondering the complexities of personal experiences and societal expectations in shaping beliefs and values.

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Addressing controversial topics, Stefan delves into power dynamics regarding women's roles in society, fertility, and politics, shedding light on the influence of propaganda on societal beliefs. He elaborates on Universally Preferable Behavior (UPB) as a rational proof of secular ethics, critiquing secular morality and advocating for universal standards of behavior. Stefan shares his journey back to Christianity, stressing the significance of prioritizing children's well-being in preserving morality and virtue. The interview concludes on a reflective note, emphasizing the virtues of seeking truth deeply and the importance of moral principles in fostering a harmonious society.


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